Thursday, December 15, 2011

I salute you

I never really had any idea how hard it was to be a full time mother. Please note that I am saying full time mother and not wife. From the time I had Farai up to about a month ago, I always had someone helping me around the house. My hubby's coiusin who has been with us for almost three years went home to get married. Tata and I decided that it might be better if we find someone who would come in once a week to do the ironing and cleaning. It saves us a bit of money as well. Anyways, I have realised that it is hard to even find time to put my feet up. There is always something that needs to be done. Even my body is feeling the change. I love to cook so I alsways cooked but never really used to do much else. Now I have to clean, tend to Nesu, tend to Faritle when he gets from school and cook. It is not that I am complaining but that just I had forgotten how hard it was. Am now trying to get into a routine. I am also very thankful for my very loving hubby who is very helpful around the house, the kids' bath time, dishes. He is the best man ever.

Women who do it all, go to work and have to be full time mothers and wives, I salute you. To you women who have to it all without any help, now I know how you feel. It is hard work. I wonder how my mother did it all with all six of us.

Till next time.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Culture vs Tradition

I have been a bit busy lately, children, housework and all. I hardly get time for myself lately let alone, time to blog. However, I will try to be more organised, come up with a schedule that might give me a bit of time to catch up on my blog.

Well, this post is actually about something that has bugged me for quite some time now. CULTURE vs TRADITION.

Definitions (From Wikepedia)
cul·ture/ˈkəlCHər/Noun: The arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.

tra·di·tion   /trəˈdɪʃən/ Show Spelled[truh-dish-uhn]
1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.

Culture is inherent. It is something that we are born with. It is within us. We cannot run away from our culture. It is like running away from one's own shadow. However, tradition is something that we learn as we grow. Some traditions are passed on while we pass on new traditions as well.

As Africans, we take so much pride in who we are and who we are is what defines us. I strongly believe that we have a very rich culture. The disappointing thing is that some of us seem to confuse who we are and what is passed on to us. I know for some people there is a very thin line between who we are and what is passed on to us. I remember having a discussion with the therapist about why men still pay lobola. This was triggered by someone elses status update on facebook. I know that this is a very controversial and hot topic. It has been for as long as i remember and surprisingly my views on it have not changed. Men paying lobola I would like to believe is what defines where I am from. It is part and parcel of my culture. Please note that i did not say tradition but culture. I remember when I was in high school there was this wave that totems were demonic. For the sake of my non- Zimbabwean readers, totems are what distinguishes us one person form the other, one clan fro the other. An example would be I am a Mashava and my totem is Shava (Eland). This I was born with and cannot run away from it because if decide to run then i risk losing my identity.

Some traditions end up becoming cultures. Our beliefs are a good example of this. Let us look at Christianity for example. This is one tradition that I will always be grateful that it was passed on to me. Through this tradition, I became a changed person, a better person I would like to believe. Through this change, I adopted to a new culture which is Christianity. It then became my new way of life. In school am sure we were all encouraged to develop a culture of reading, loving to read. This reminds of how culture needs to be cultivated for it to reach its full potential. Remember I mentioned that culture is inborn and for it to blossom one need guidance, cherishing and loving, lots and lots of TLC. However, with tradition, one is given a choice. You can either decide to follow certain traditions, create new ones or totally ignore the new and the old traditions. I would like to believe that tradition is equal to trend. Whatever is the latest vibe then becomes a chosen tradition.

For us the latest breed of African Africans, we are given lots of choices, lots of traditions to choose from and hence the thin line between culture and tradition. We end up being confused, not really knowing who we are and what to do with ourselves. In Shona we have the term mu-salad and in South Africa there is the term coconut.Both terms are derogatory considering there reference. A salad is made up of different ingredients and at times you cannot really figure out what the main ingredient is. A coconut is a "confused nut or should i say fruit" There is no clear cut of which is which and if a person is refered to as a mu-salad or a coconut then that person has lost his or her culture and is trying to adopt into a new culture but is not sure if they will fit in. Trying to embrace a new culture is like denying your right to existence, it is like the real you vanishes into thin air and there is a lot of pretence.

For those who did Shona in school remember Ngoni in Ziva Kwawakabva (Remember your roots) by Aaron Chiunduramoyo. Without roots there is no life. Always remember that. More on this later.

Stay blessed!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Things you might not know about me

1. My right foot tend to swell up for nothing. I do not notice it anymore but whenever I meet new poeple or people I have not seen in a while tend to notice that first.

2. I was bullied in primary school.(Please don't laugh) We used to run home after school and it would have been a picture that would have made you laugh because, belive me, I am one of the clumsiest people I know. I CANNOT RUN. LOL. Anyways, when we went to Zim during the holidays, I met one of the guys who used to give us hell and I asked him why (I needed closure, hahahaha) and the answer I got was a guilt laugh.

3. Most people that I grew up with or those knew me from when i was little call me Pipi, thanks to my dad. He rarely calls me by my full name. I once told a friend this and she laughed cause where she comes from it means something totally different, something i cannot even type here.

4. I am currently reading the Twilight Saga Collections. I am on book three and all i can say is I am hooked. I have already watched the two movies and now I cannot wait for the third one.

5. I love God.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It has been long AGAIN!!!

Yes it has been and yes, again. I have two winners for the cake give away.

Helen, thanks for being a follower.

Elizabeth, thanks for pestering to update the blog.

The cake will be a fruit cake ladies unless you indicate otherwise.

On another note, I have lots a few posts in my drafts that need to be updated and will post them soon.

Stay blessed and will be back soon.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A give away

Yes, a give away. Leave a comment here or on my facebook post related to this post and i will bake you a traditional christmas cake (fruit cake) which I will deliver on your door. I know there are friends out there who do read my blog. Here is my thank you. There are three cakes to give away. Sorry, this is for locals only.

Stay blessed.


P.S. The first three comments ;-)

Friday, October 21, 2011

Things you might not know about me

1. I lost a sister in 1990 to leaukemia. I was in form three then. She was my form one history teacher at the school that i went to. I miss her lots.

2. I adore reading. I first joined a library when i was in grade one in 1981. My one weakness was that people always found their way into my school bag and help themselves to my books. I remember the Ladybird books. That was how i discovered all the fairy tales, Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, Rapaunzel, etc. Grade five, six and seven, i discovered The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Secret Five.

3. I find it very difficult to adjust to new situations. I am one of those people who hold on to the familiar for far too long even if i know that i have to move on.

4. I used to stare a lot when i was little. I am noticing this in Faritle too. (trying so much to discourage him, we will.see how ot goes) I remember sitting outside and just look at people passing by.

5. Next week is my birthday. On the twenty sixth. My dad always bought me a birthday cake for as long as i remember. It became a tradition then.

Till next time, stay blessed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Hello everyone. My brain has had so much staff that i would love to share but never got to put them down. Now here is my chance.

I have been thinking a lot about culture and tradition, how much it influences who we are and how sometimes we tend to shun away from culture and tradition. This was inspired by the therapist when she came to visit and it is a whole topic on its own.

Now something i would really love to chat about, things i remember if i were to write my birth stories. Suprisingly, i seem to remember very little and as a result i have decided to put the little i do remember down. Do not worry, it is not going to be gross.

I started feeling that something was happening around 12 midnight on the 2nd of July 2008. I decided to ignore it and went back to sleep. Around 2 a.m. I woke up again just to discover that i was losing my mucous plug and that i was in more severe pain than before. I woke up tata who woke up the Business Administrator (BA) and my oldest sister, BA's mom who had come to be with me and wait for her latest nephew. We all got dressed and we went to the hospital. The nurses did not believe i was in labour because i was busy chatting, laughing and smiling. It was not until i started throwing up and was hooked up on the monitors that they believed that i was in labour. The progress was very low but the pain excruciating. I was determined to go all natural. By the way, my waters were still intact. When my OB came to check on me, he told me he might have to break my waters artificially. This time i was really scared. You see, the labour room was kinda of scary. There were hooks, plungers, siscors and other scary staff everywhere. I think that is what caused my blood pressure to go yoyo. I remember my sis running to fetch a nurse cause i was sweating and felt like i could not breath. Anyways, when OB came back to check on me, i agreed on an epidural so he could break my waters. An aneasthetist did his part and within no time i could not feel a thing in the lower part of my body. I also forgot to mention that Faritle's heart beat was also yoyoing. It was then discovered that there was meconium in the waters so i had to be wheeled to the theatre for an emergency c-sec. Around 2 my sweet little miracle was born. That is what i remember about Faritle's birth. More about what happened after in coming posts. He was born at 40 weeks.

Nesu was a different story. I knew from about thirty weeks that i was going to have a c-sec. One thing that i did not like, which made me shudder, it still does was the idea of not feeling my legs. Serously, it still scares me. That is one thing that makes me have second thoughts about giving birth again. Anyways, because i had not gone for hospital tour, i was at the hospital by 8:30a.m. The date that i was given coincided with the day that the hospital gave its maternity and labour ward tours. I was suppose to be in theatre by four in the afternoon but had to wait until half six. I was super excited and nervous at the same time. Tata, my mummy and tete N were there with me. We went to the theatre and by seven that evening Nesu was born. It was good seeing my little angel for the first time. I forgot to mention again, my blood pressure was yoyoing again but i came through it again stronger and with more faith. More on the after-math later.

Now that this is off my chest, more is to come.

Stay blessed.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Things you might not know about me

1. I am a mother to two IVF miracles. Going back to where it all began. I remember getting out of a gyne office back home feeling like the world had come to a stop. I remember shading tears after a visit to a urologist, the pain and hurt. I remember God opening doors when we moved to South Africa. I remember the time we were told i was pregnant with Faritle, how i knew deep down way before it was confirmed that God was showing us how good and faithfull He was. I remember how i doubted God when we had a second go, believing that the treatment was not going to work. I remember very clearly how God proved me wrong.

2. I have what most people think is an I don't care attitude. I view it as an easy go attitude, my defence mechanism. I do not usually take things to heart. It is a way of protecting myself from getting hurt. I am a people pleaser and as a result people tend to walk all over me. My reaction, smile and put it under the carpet or i shut you off completely. This way i do not always have to pretend that i am happy.

3. I love my life. I love my family. I love my hubby to bits (guess you will be seeing a lot of this).

4. I have thirteen nieces and nephews. Four of them married with children which makes me a great aunt. :-)

5. I lived in the same house for twenty six years of my life. Tata came along and scooped me away.

Till next time.;-)

Friday, September 30, 2011

I am still here

This last week was bit hectic for me so am sorry for not updating as promised. All is well. Will try to keep up from now on.

The occupational therapist(O.T) was here. It was good to see her. It is always good to have someone from home. She was here for a whole week. She did inspire me, gave me a great topic which i am very passionate about. Watch this space. Thanks O.T. Unfortunately, i never got the chance to take photos.

Faritle got a new love, burgers. He is now into Mac Dee kiddies meal so much. Have to change driving route now. Nesu can now walk holding on to staff. Will try post pics or a video soon.

That is all for now. Will pop in again soon.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Things you might not know about me

Yeah, two written posts in one week. I am on the roll woooooo.

I have decided to use Friday for you to get to know me better. This will also help me to rediscover myself, the good and the bad.

1. I did not like puberty, all the changes that were happening especially the visible ones. I think that was the time i seriously wished I was a boy. Do not worry cause i do not feel that way anymore.

2. I discovered that my dad had an accent when i was in high school. I know it is funny especially to those who know him and have heard him speak. The accent is soooo obvious now and i love it. By the way, my dad is from Mozambique. Came to Zimbabwe for education and then he got stuck cause he met my mother.

3. I have known my darling hubby for twenty years, dated for eight of those. Yeah, more than half my life time. No, Iam not forty yet!

4. I really wanted to go into journalism after high school but my dad had other ideas so i ended up stuck in teaching for almost four years. It is something i never really enjoyed but hey, i spent three years in college learning how to become a high school teacher.

5. My oldest sibling could easily be my mum. There is a huge gap between us. There is an almost sixteen year gap between us. I am five years older than her eldest baby. There is a six year gap between i and the one i come after. I think this was unheard of especially among black African families. There are six of us and there is a one year or two year gap between them except for me of course. I have always thought i was special now i know why. Lol

Till next Friday when I will dish out more juicy facts about me.

Hugs and stay blessed!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I love you

Yeah, you read it right! That is the title of this post. As I was lying in bed last night i started contemplating on what to right about this week and this was my revelation.

When I was growing up, I LOVE YOU was a taboo phrase. The phrase was associated with a girl and a boy being in love, yeah you can LAUGH OUT LOUD! When a boy then was trying to ask you to be his girlfriend that is the phrase he would use. You see, I was not crazy then to think that it was a taboo phrase, something you should not say in public, let alone, to your parents, siblings or even friends. It was like saving yourself just for your husband.

Children then did not need to hear their parents saying I LOVE YOU to get the assurance that they were loved. It was an obvious thing to the children, to us. It would go the same for the parents as well. All children needed to do to show that they loved their parents was visit them, take care of them without having to say I LOVE YOU mummy or dad. It was as simple as that. Everyone would just be satisfied and happy then. I remember in one of my modules, communication at varsity this discussion came up. Some people where shocked when i said the views that i am writing on here especually my white classmates. I guess the cultural thing also plays a role in it.

However, now it is a different story. This I LOVE YOU phrase is now on the tip of evryone's tongue. Even Faritle knows that when mummy is upset if he says he loves me then all is well. We used to laugh at my mum because whenevet we called her, her end phrase was always THANK YOU. Now she almost always end her phone conversations with I LOVE YOU ALL. Believe me, my mum is very old school so this came as a huge suprise, a well appreciated one. My dear (this is my big sis) called yestrday and she spoke to faritle. The conversation ended with I LOVE YOU. This made me smile.

I strongly believe that love is something that people should be able to express, not only by saying I LOVE YOU but by showing it. Remember God did not just say that He loved us but He showed his love to us by giving us His Son Jesus Christ. John 3v16 says it all.

Hugs and till next time.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A mother's love

This post is inspired by my sis in law Mrs K. She called me on Monday and I asked her how Mr K jnr was doing at school. Mr K jnr has just started school. She told me that when he got home he told her that he fell and noone came to say sorry. She told me that she almost cried when he told her. I almost cried when she told me. It hit me hard how we as mothers want to shield our kids from all the badies of the world. This reminded me of how a mother's love is everlasting. She however told me again that nomatter how much we want to shield them from the baddies, the children do grow up and learn tovstand up for themselves.

I remembered the time we were childless and how our empty arms yearned to be filled. Now that God blessed us with two lovely boys, I am amazed at how I cannot imagine my life without them. The love just flows through even when the boys put me through fire sometimes. The nagging, whinning, spit all over and the snort just makes me love them more. It really does make my world go round with love.

As mothers, we pray for our children or it is assumed that we pray for our children more. To divert a bit and brag, I was amazed at one time when my dad told me how he used to pray for us so God may fill our arms. It made me cry not only because that is the greatest gift he could have given us but that I never thought he would pray for us regarding the matter. On the other hand, I always knew that nomatter how much of a rebel (yes, i had that tendency to rebel against her until I was in my mid 20s) I was my mother would always pray for us. That i was and still am guaranteed of. That is a great show of a mother's love. I love her to bits.

Mothers are expected to be strong loving beings and that is exactly who we are except for a few exceptionals. Also remember, YOU STRIKE A WOMAN YOU STRIKE A ROCK. WATHINT'ABAFAZI WATHINT'IMBOKODO!

Till next time and lets keep loving our children.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


I am glad to announce that Faritle has started to use the potty. He still will not sit on it but do it (by 'it' i mean number 1) standing. Tonight we got into a bit of a fight when it was p.j. time. He did not want to put on pull ups. He had spent the whole day in briefs which we changed about three times cause of the little accidents that he had.

This all started last week when i gave his teacher pull ups instead of the usual nappies that I usually give her for faritle's use at school. Am sure the teacher got the hint cause they started training him immediately. I was all smiles when the teacher told me that Faritle had used the loo. When we got home on that day he did use the loo. I started thinking about people who told me to wait until he wad ready, how wise they are. Today he has been rushing to the potty whenever he wanted to go. The accidents came from not pulling down his pants all the way down which resulted in a bit of soiling which he hated.

Anyways, we will see how it all goes but for now I am super excited that he is peeing in the potty. On a last note, i am considering school again next year. More about that in my next post.

Stay blessed!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


It is really good to be back. I went to Zimbabwe for about five days. It was a really good and fun trip although it was long as well.

Anyways, this trip made me think a lot about my belief, my life style as a Christian. There is a lot going on in Zimbabwe when it comes to believing in Christ, praying and having hope. This is something i missed when we were there during the Easter holidays. People seem to have this thirst to know God yet in this thirst i think there is a lot of confusion, controversy and faith. I know faith does not go with the other two words but that was my gut feel.

Ok, i was blessed enough to be invited to the "popular" UFI church. This is the United Family Interdenominational Church. The church is led by Prophet E Makandiwa. I have put popular in inverted commas because for some this might not seem so. The matter at hand is how I was amazed at the length people would go to be there. The over flow contained of more than half the congregation. I was amazed at how people would just find satisfaction in just sitting outside and listen to the prophet preaching and still feel that they are part and parcel of the congregation. I also had the opportunity to watch a clip with the man in action, people getting healed. It was pretty amazing. Am sure you are wondering where the confusion and controversy is. From what l gathered talking to family who are part of the UFI family, people are thirsty for God yes, but some are just there for the miracles and prophecy. When the prophet is not there, for some that means there is no church. There is a lot of false hope in people because they are focusing on the wrong person for deliverance. The preacher gives us the word as it is and then us the cogregationgets gets it all wrong. I really loved his sermon on Sunday. It was from Daniel 11v32. The knowledge of God leads to a higher level of strength in God. As the word was being delivered to us, i was thanking God for the opportunity to get to hear it at that moment. All my doubts vanished then cause it was the word that was just being delivered just like at any other church.

I could not understand what the hype was all about though. It kind of reminded me of the time when ZIOGA was formed then. Just because they prayed a little different, conducted their services a bit different, does not mean they are not Christians. Different from congregational churches. Now that there are Pentecostal churches planted all over with some going a step further, there is havoc all over again. I truly believe that God rewards us accordingly. He Will never give us anything that we cannot handle. If you thinks that something is too hot for you to handle, move on or keep holding on until you do not feel the heat anymore. Christianity is personal. The more one knows Christ, the deeper one's faith becomes. It is all about faith you have in Jesus Christ and not anyone else. It is through Him that died on the cross and rose on the third day that we find grace and deliverance.

I hope this is not too much of a ramble. God bless.


Monday, August 22, 2011

I am back

It is good to be back. It feels good to be back. I have so much to say.

Faritle is now three. He really does look like a little man. Lol. Everyone is commenting on how grown up he looks now. We are also experiencing a lot of foot stamping, hugs, l love you mama and lots of tears for nothing as well. There is also a lot of Fari,  no. Don't do that. He also pretends to cry when he thinks he might get away with being naughty. There is still resistance to petty. Everyone is telling me to be patient. Enough about Faritle.

Nesu is now one. He shuffles on his bum, too lazy to crawl properly. He is actually trying to stand now. When i took him to the ped last week she predicted he will be walking by fourteen months. Not bad considering Faritle also walked at about fourteen or fifteen months. He is now fully weaned from breast milk and is on cow milk already. He loves his food and bubbles quite a lot too.

Tata is also a year older. One thing that i did not mention earlier is July and August are birthday months around here. Faritle 2 July and Nesu and Tata 4 and 9 August respectively. So, Tata got socks from the boys and a Samsung galaxy tab FOR MUM. Yes, you read it right, i got the present. Bless him. He is such a wonderful dad and husband. This means more updates cause now i have a reliable internet source.

Stay blessed,


Friday, February 11, 2011

Talk about keeping promises

I remember being a Girl Guide in primary and secondary school and being told that a promise was a lifetime cimMittment. When I started this blog I promised to update the bLog regularily and it does not seem to be happening. It is not beacause I do not have anything to say. I do have a lot of ramblings, trust me but I just don't seem to have the time and my internet connection has been acting up.

Anyways, the family is fine except for the two boys who are coughing. Ped, recommended we give Nesu some of Faritle's medication. Faritle is enjoying pre-school to the extent that when I go pick him up, I have to drag him to the car. His vocabulary has improved a lot as well, a lot. The joys of playing with other kids. The only thing that we are still struggling with is potty training. Yesterday we had a small victory when he agreed to sit on the toilet seat even though he had already done his business in his pants and then said , "mama, popoos." That is the word we use for you know what. Sorry for being so gross (:-.

Now that I am back online, will try very hard to keep my promise just like the promise I first made 1984 (go figure) when I became a GG!!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Anesu sitting

Happy new year everyone. Nesu started sitting on his own a few days ago. I managed to take a few shots before the great fall. It takes at least a minute or so before he falls.

What is happening mama????


Oh I have figured it out!!!!


Am sure this looks much better with my tongue sticking out!!!!

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