Monday, April 22, 2013

Married thirteen years, what I learnt : PART ONE

So today is our 13th wedding anniversary. Yes it has been 13 years and we are going strong.As a way of celebrating our anniversary, I will be posting what I learnt through out the thirteen years and what I believe God intends marriage to be.

1. I learnt to put God first in everything that I do. I always say whenever I am asked to speak to soon to be wives that marriage can be so much fun that you might forget to pray. Mainly because the spouses becomes the center of it all. Having a husband who loves God too will be an anchor if you find yourself getting carried away.I know this and will always be grateful for my sweet husband who loves God too. Matthew 6 v 33 says that we should seek the kingdom first before anything else.

2. I learnt to listen. I was a teacher when I got married and so used to being listened to. This, I learnt gradually, still learning. Just like we need to listen to God, we should also listen when our husbands are speaking to us. I try not to speaker over him. I try not to disrespect him by being attentive and make sure that I make gestures that will assure him that I am listening to him. My hubby hates it when I try to multi task when he is speaking to me. He assumes that I am not paying attention so I always make sure that I look at him and acknowledge what he is saying. Proverbs 18 v 13 clearly tell us to listen before we speak because if we do not do so then that is a sign of foolishness.

3. I learnt to submit. This also helped to do away with pride. This day and age, submission might seem a thing of the past cause we tend to think of what tradition or culture says. What God says about submission is very clear in the bible. Ephesians 5 v22 says that we should submit to our husbands. This does not mean that we should become door mats. Christ never made the church His door mat hence we should never accept abuse physical or mental abuse from our husbands. However, submission means loving our husbands, not letting pride take over, be able to let him take the lead and be his HELPER. When God created woman, He said, Genesis 2:18"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

4. The last thing I will share today is that I learnt to dot on my husband. I know when he is in his 'nothing box' to leave him alone and let him rest. I know when he needs a hug. I know his favourite foods and I cook them for him. I make sure that when he goes to work he looks nice. I take care of those things that one might not think of. I make sure that his favourites are always around (food, drink, movies, music etc).

I am still learning all of the above, striving to be the noble wife that would be fit for my king Farai. I will post more of this series and talk more about the things that I have learnt about marriage and our walk with Christ.

Stay blessed,

Friday, April 19, 2013

A revamp

The title of the post says it all. There is a lot of revamping going on not only here but in this woman's life. I have a few projects at hand and in mind and have been thinking a lot about what it would be like to refocus the main theme of this blog. I have been giving myself time to study the word a bit, more that I used to and it is amazing how much one would learn if you give yourself time and energy to do it.As the title of the blog also says,
I have always known that I am fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139 vs 14
and as I was lying down last night trying to figure out a name for the blog this is what I came up with. Changing the name of the blog is something that i have thought about for quite sometime and and unti last night i could not come with anything that seemed appropriate. God's timing is always peferct.It would be so much fun I guess to make this place a place for me to share my experinces as a woman, daughter of The most high King, a wife to Farai, a mother to Faritle and Nesu and my sweet thirteen babies that I am little mama to, the youngest of six, a survivor, a victor, a sister-inlaw, my mum and dad's little girl. I hope that as I begin this journrey, it will bring in more revelations that are Godly and help me to walk in His blessings always.I hope and pray that we will learn together as we journey together.
Stay blessed

Monday, April 15, 2013

Just a penny for my thoughts, or more.....

Friday was the last day of Faitle's last day of school, first term ofGrade 00. At the end of every first term the grade 000 and the grade 00 do a grandparent's concert. It is not very long, about an hour. The children sing about seven short songs and then that is it.Anyway, the reason for this post is how sad it felt for those children who did not have grannies around, Faritle being one of them. I kept looking at all the elderly people smiling and waving at their grandchildren, and felt all my childhood memories coming coming back. I did not have the chance to meet my partenal grannies but I did meet my maternal grannies. Just to a quick note, in my world growing up, there we no school concerts except for the end of year parents day. By the time I finished primary school i think is had been scrapped off or tonned down. My dad's parents lived in Mocambique and I think my grand dad on the Mashava side died even before I was born. My paternal grandma passed on when I was in grade one (1981) or grade two (1982). I remeber crying because I never had the chance to meet her.My martenal grand parents on the other hand were always been there. My maternal grandpa passed when after I had finished High School, 1992 and my grandma (gogo) passed 1994. I know, it is sounding like a history lesson but the point is there were there to spoil us even though we saw them once in a while. I would know that December gogo will send us mango. She would kill a chicken for us when we visit. These were the little things that mattered espeially when we were younger. I remember giving her a nudge so we could cross the road cause she always thought the cars we close nomatter how far the cars were.Enough about my grandparents. My kids never got the chance to know gogo and sekuru Jambaya. We try as much as possible to show them pics and tell them stories about sekuru and gogo. My parents however, are still alive but very far away. There is no way we would ask them to come all the way from Zim (12 hours by bus) for an hour concert. Our children will never really know how it feels to go to grannies house during the holidays. They would never know how it feels to always have goo or sekuru to run to when they make muumy upset. It is sad that granny will always be too far for a visit, a hug or even a kiss except for their Sunday breif talks and the 'Love you gogo, love you sekuru"that always end with the brief Sunday phone calls.Here are a few pics pf Faritle and Nesu enjoying the company of their grand parents.My dad with Nesu two years ago.This is Faritle sleeping in great grandma's arms. This is my hubby's gogo (for my English speaking friends, this is my MIL aunt, making her my hubby's great aunt but in Shona she is still gogo.) Taken when we went to Zim sometime ago.My mummy with Faritle playing in the garage two years ago when they came to visit.Stay blessed

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Leave and cling

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2v24 KJV

This was a very popular saying (at least where I came from)on wedding invitations. I have been wondering lately if most of the people who used it really knew what it meant. (By the way, that was not the verse we chose for out wedding invitations.) It took me more than four years to really understood what it meant. One day as I was talking to a certain lady, she started telling me about the marriage study that they were doing at church and how it touched on leaving and clinging. Then she told me one thing that remained with me and will always remain with me forever,

When you leave and cling you do not look back.

It got me thinking of the year we got married, hubby was starting at a new job, the working hours were horrible, and I was away from all that i had been familiar with for the past 25 years. Where my parents live now is where I was born so to me that was home and happiest place to be. It was not so lonely. I kept threatening my dear darling sweet husband that I was going back to my daddy. I am a bit of a daddy's girl you see. The vows i made never really mattered then. Thinking of it now, it was a dark and scary space that I was in. In retrospective, i really do feel sorry for Farai. To make matters worse, we moved to South Africa and I was always alone with hubby always away somewhere in Africa with his work. Most women would know that we accumulate staff in out hearts and when it comes out it is always messy. One day when he was in Burundi, I told him I was going back to daddy "again" and this was in our fifth year of marriage. Hubby's dear little sister Mrs K was the one who consoled me and told me to stay put. Like I have mentioned before, this was a scary time thinking of it now.

Anyway, I think that is a good example of what it means not to know how to leave and cleave. Most people would assume that the verse was meant for men. When this lady ministered this leaving and clinging to me, I was in awe of myself. I felt challenged and that I owed my dear hubby an apology. Am not sure I apologised though. Will have to ask him when he gets home tonight. (By the way, I asked God for a job change and He did open another door for him with better working hours) Leaving and clinging, means not looking back, wishing you were in that old space. It does not mean running back to daddy (unless you are running back to our heavenly dad, God), running to mummy, sister, brother or friend. This does not meant you should not have a shoulder to cry on. My revelation is do not threaten to leave when things do not go your way. Am reading Power of a praying wife and so far I have discovered that when you are weary, the best place to be is on your knees in prayer. Prayer is the answer to all things. I did not have that revelation then that I should just take all the loneliness and sadness to God instead of threatening my sweet hubby. When you leave and cling, you stick on, not like velcro that is easily removable but the sticking on of the everlasting glue, PRAYER.

Now we laugh over the matter but it was a very important lesson that I learnt, TO LEAVE AND TO CLING.

Stay blessed


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