Thursday, April 4, 2013

Leave and cling

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2v24 KJV

This was a very popular saying (at least where I came from)on wedding invitations. I have been wondering lately if most of the people who used it really knew what it meant. (By the way, that was not the verse we chose for out wedding invitations.) It took me more than four years to really understood what it meant. One day as I was talking to a certain lady, she started telling me about the marriage study that they were doing at church and how it touched on leaving and clinging. Then she told me one thing that remained with me and will always remain with me forever,

When you leave and cling you do not look back.

It got me thinking of the year we got married, hubby was starting at a new job, the working hours were horrible, and I was away from all that i had been familiar with for the past 25 years. Where my parents live now is where I was born so to me that was home and happiest place to be. It was not so lonely. I kept threatening my dear darling sweet husband that I was going back to my daddy. I am a bit of a daddy's girl you see. The vows i made never really mattered then. Thinking of it now, it was a dark and scary space that I was in. In retrospective, i really do feel sorry for Farai. To make matters worse, we moved to South Africa and I was always alone with hubby always away somewhere in Africa with his work. Most women would know that we accumulate staff in out hearts and when it comes out it is always messy. One day when he was in Burundi, I told him I was going back to daddy "again" and this was in our fifth year of marriage. Hubby's dear little sister Mrs K was the one who consoled me and told me to stay put. Like I have mentioned before, this was a scary time thinking of it now.

Anyway, I think that is a good example of what it means not to know how to leave and cleave. Most people would assume that the verse was meant for men. When this lady ministered this leaving and clinging to me, I was in awe of myself. I felt challenged and that I owed my dear hubby an apology. Am not sure I apologised though. Will have to ask him when he gets home tonight. (By the way, I asked God for a job change and He did open another door for him with better working hours) Leaving and clinging, means not looking back, wishing you were in that old space. It does not mean running back to daddy (unless you are running back to our heavenly dad, God), running to mummy, sister, brother or friend. This does not meant you should not have a shoulder to cry on. My revelation is do not threaten to leave when things do not go your way. Am reading Power of a praying wife and so far I have discovered that when you are weary, the best place to be is on your knees in prayer. Prayer is the answer to all things. I did not have that revelation then that I should just take all the loneliness and sadness to God instead of threatening my sweet hubby. When you leave and cling, you stick on, not like velcro that is easily removable but the sticking on of the everlasting glue, PRAYER.

Now we laugh over the matter but it was a very important lesson that I learnt, TO LEAVE AND TO CLING.

Stay blessed


  1. Great teaching to a lot of me; for the future that is. but its actualy very difficult for me though to imagine....the leave and cling thing....What more having to do it!!!! Prayer glue needed for real!

  2. Thanks Shai. You are my number one fan. Do not let the pastor who will do your pre-mariatal counselling get away with it. Most of the time they just assume we know.


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